Chappell Roan, the breakout pop star known for her bold and unapologetic music, has reflected on the challenges of growing up in a religious environment. In a candid moment during the A Carpool Karaoke Christmas special, Roan shared how her religious upbringing, while freeing for some, left her feeling stifled and ashamed, especially as a queer person.

According to NME, “I know for a lot of people, it’s actually very freeing. For me it almost did the opposite, where I felt like I couldn’t be myself,” Roan confessed, explaining that she believed her identity was a sin, causing her to struggle with internal conflict. “I just couldn’t handle feeling ashamed anymore,” she added.

Growing up in Missouri, Roan, known for a recent cover of Wham’s “Last Christmas” alongside Sabrina Carpenter, “Good Luck, Babe!” and “Hot to Go”, was exposed to conservative views that often clashed with her emerging identity.

While she found refuge in her music and eventually moved to Los Angeles, she acknowledged that her experiences have shaped who she is today.

Roan also reflected on the gradual process of breaking away from the constraints of her upbringing, which was a blend of Christian rock and a sheltered life. “It was like one degree every conversation,” she shared, indicating the slow journey towards accepting her true self.

Her experiences in West Hollywood, particularly visiting gay clubs, were pivotal in her journey. “It felt spiritual,” she recalled, highlighting how liberating it was to embrace her queerness in a space where she no longer felt judged.

Roan’s openness about her upbringing and her path to self-acceptance continues to resonate with fans, as reflected in her music. Tracks like Pink Pony Club and the grammy-nominated The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess are a direct reflection of her personal growth.