According to Consequence of Sound, Elle King has finally spoken about her controversial January performance at the Grand Ole Opry during a 78th birthday tribute to Dolly Parton. The incident saw King slurring through a rendition of Parton’s “Marry Me.”

On Chelsea Handler’s “Dear Chelsea” podcast, King explained the performance was a last-minute replacement for an unnamed headliner who canceled due to inclement weather. At the time of the performance, King was also dealing with a personal crisis, saying, “I was in the midst of dealing with something very heavy and traumatic. I hadn’t eaten or slept for days, and the day of the performance was a really big day dealing with what I was going through and that I’m still going through.”

The “America’s Sweetheart” singer admitted, “I suffer from severe PTSD; I take one shot too many, and I’m just not there in my body, I’m not there. I don’t remember it. All I remember — I don’t even remember what I said. I know now what I said.” She recalled regaining awareness of the situation in her dressing room, sobbing on the floor and thinking, “What have I done?”

King took responsibility for her actions with a heavy-hearted apology, saying, “Maybe I shouldn’t have fucking been drinking… This is like a sacred stage and I fucked up. If you were there that night and I didn’t get a chance to say I’m sorry to you, I apologize.”

In addition to her words, King also sent a handwritten note to Dolly Parton, who responded with the comforting kindness she’s come to be known for, telling King, “Well, Dolly’s not mad at you, why should the world be?” with King saying the gracious response is one she’ll “never forget.”

King recently collaborated with Diplo’s country star alter ego Thomas Wesley on a track and has since returned to the stage, performing at California’s Stagecoach Festival, and aims to use the experience as a learning opportunity. “I’m going to choose to use this as a tool to not defeat me, but to make me, hopefully, a better person, and I can learn from my mistakes,” she told Handler.