In an interview with Australia’s Nova Station, Grammy-award-winning pop artist Billie Eilish expresses this revelation clearly to her fans. Before this blonde superstar, known for her distinctive look and sound that captivated young audiences worldwide for her derivation from the mainstream trends and beauty standards, was able to take time to herself and reflect on what her fame meant to her, Eilish recounts how miserable she actually was.

In an earlier interview conducted in 2021 by Amy Kaufman at the LA Times, Eilish went into further detail as she admits how hard it is to distance herself from insulting comments and not let public opinion alter her self-judgment. As the youngest person ever in music history to win seven grammy awards, play Coachella and write hit songs for blockbuster films such as the new James Bonds film No Time to Die and Disney’s Turning Red before the age of twenty, Eilish needed the time to “do the self-reflection I’ve never had the time for” and think about “how [her fame and success] affected me – how I actually feel about it all instead of just doing it.”

Before the reignition and rebranding of her career with her latest hit album Happier than Ever in 2021 and the resulting world tour of the same name, Eilish recalls feeling wholly uncomfortable with her popularity and felt that her life was inherently disconnected from that of your average, typical teen.

In a 2022 article from NME, Eilish expanded on these emotions of not belonging and the twinge of imposter syndrome that has plagued her ever since the start of her career. She said, “I felt pretty trapped in the persona that people had of me.” She went on to explain just how she was able to reclaim her own self as she redefined and “changed [her persona] completely to fuck with everyone.”

Now in 2022, Eilish revels in her newfound confidence as she wraps up the last of her shows in Australia during the last leg of her Happier than Ever world tour. With her fears of being recognized and bombarded by fans when out on simple errands or a daily walk lessened as she is no longer “scared to step outside,” Eilish cements her improvement and credits this recent change in disposition to, according to an article by NME’s Tom Disalvo, a busy schedule after the lull in outside activities during the pandemic and her recent biking excursions in New Zealand.

With a new invigoration and excitement for music, as she has now found herself and reclaimed her persona and feels comfortable going to events and performing, Billie Eilish has recently released a new two-song single called Guitar Songs. For more information on that, check out this article.