Tim Lambesis, frontman of the metal band As I Lay Dying, has taken to Facebook to release an extensive apology. Since 2012, Lambesis has been caught up in a very serious scandal. The singer and his now ex-wife Meggan, initially divorced in September of 2012 after Meggan found out about Lambesis’ infidelity. Lambesis agreed it was for the best since he did not love her anymore. However, the divorce turned ugly when the children began to get more involved. Supposedly Meggan began to isolate Lambesis from their three shared children. As a result, Lambesis decided to escalate things.

Lambesis confided in his steroid dealer, Brett Kimbal, that he planned on killing Meggan. Lambesis had been struggling with mental stability due to the performance enhancing drugs and felt that this was his only option. Kimbal got undercover cops involved in order to protect Meggan. An undercover cop posing as a hitman contacted Lambesis and offered to help. Once the “hitman” got confirmation of Lambesis’ plans, he was able to arrest him. Lambesis’ Bail was set at $2 million dollars while the investigation proceeded. in June of 2013, after being detained for roughly a month, he was released on bail. He was prohibited to see his ex-wife or kids during his time out.

As the trial began, Lambesis pleaded not guilty. However after more information on his steroid use came out, he admitted that he was guilty for soliciting murder from an outside party. As the remaining band members cancelled their tour and formed a new band named, Wovenwar, Lambesis was busy serving his term in prison. According to the PRP, he was set to serve a six year sentence, but he was released early in December of 2016 after serving after two and a half years.

Since his release, Lambesis has kept a low-profile. However, yesterday he posted a long apology on As I Lay Dying’s Facebook page. In the letter, he apologize to Meggan and their kids, his other family members, his friends, his old bandmates and his fans. He acknowledges that his apology isn’t enough to fix things but wants to reach out anyways. He goes on to share that music will always be a part of his life, but he isn’t sure what the future holds for him. He insists that his apology is not a press stunt, but an attempt to heal those he was hurt. The entire statement is listed below:

“Words cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused. There is no defense for what I did, and I look back on the person I became with as much disdain as many of you likely do.

First, I apologize to my former wife and remarkable children for my appalling actions. There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t wish I could undo the damage I caused, and out of respect for their wishes I will not discuss anything else about them (now or in the future).

I also ask anyone reading this to promote healing for them by respecting their privacy and defending them from any negativity or anger which should be directed towards me. I was the sole offender and the only one to blame for everything that happened.

To my family, I apologize for the trauma you faced and may still feel. This is an ongoing sentence many of you serve because of me. I am so sorry to my friends who were betrayed by everything I hid from them and all the hardships I caused people who used to work with me. Band mates, road crew, managers, attorneys, agents, label people, and more all had to suffer through many unexpected changes because of my actions.

While they were dealing with the aftermath of my arrest, I responded toward many of them with bitterness that I should have directed toward myself. I know that I can’t undo the animosity I brought their way, but I hope to mend what I can now as time goes on.

To the people who looked up to me as an artist, I let you down in so many ways. I tried to show my best side to the public, while feeding an ugly growing monster behind closed doors. I wrote lyrics about the person I wanted to be rather than the person that I was. I was living a life that lacked empathy and viewed everything through a self-motivated lens.

I cannot say for certain what life looks like going forward as so much is different now and I’m still learning. Music always has and always will be a part of me, and has helped me get through the darkest parts of my journey. However, this apology is not a part of promoting anything. Rumors circulate, and that’s something I’ve learned to accept, but this apology is just that, an apology to everyone around me.

I’ve remained silent to the public since expressing remorse at my sentencing because time seemed like the best way to promote healing. Today marks the first opportunity to freely apologize without any motivation to gain favor from the courts, as I have now completed the entirety of my legal sentence (including the completion of all parole/probation requirements).

Let it be clear that no amount of time served can right my wrongs. I do not feel deserving of a second chance and am not asking for anyone’s trust. The way many people feel about me makes sense, and only time will tell if my future actions line up with my remorse, something I pray for every day. In the last five years, the ripple effect of all my actions has extended further than a written statement can address. Thus, I will continue to apologize in both words and actions moving forward.

Thank you for reading,

Tim”

Photo Credit: Raymond Flotat