photo by Owen Ela

Hip-hop duo Run the Jewels gave fans an extra treat in their stockings this Christmas Eve as they not only released Run the Jewels 3 three weeks earlier than anticipated but made it available as a free download on their website. The download includes a catalog of Run the Jewels merchandise, the schedule for the North American leg of their “Run the World” tour and a PDF booklet with complete lyrics. Run the Jewels 3 has already spawned three singles: “Talk to Me,” “2100,” and “Legend Has It” but one song that will probably never be released as a single and might not ever be performed live is the heart wrenching “Thursday In The Danger Room”. On December 28th El-p announced on twitter that the song was almost left off the album due to the personal meaning behind the song.

true story: almost didn't put Thursday in the danger room on the album. felt almost too personal. I see now that would have been a mistake.

— el-p (@therealelp) December 28, 2016

im very thankful we have an audience that rewards and appreciates risk.

— el-p (@therealelp) December 28, 2016

that said i don't know if i'll be performing TITDR. i can barely listen to it.

— el-p (@therealelp) December 28, 2016

Though it hasn’t been officially confirmed it is theorized that TITDR is about the tragic death of Tero Smith, better known by his stage name Camu Tao, who died on May 25, 2008, after a two-year battle with lung cancer. El-P dedicated his album Cancer 4 Cure to his memory and from the lyrics of “Thursday In The Danger Room” the death of his close friend is something that he is still struggling with to this day. Hopefully the ultimate descion to release the personal song on the album will help him as well as others reach peace with the losses the song represents.

Like how do you look in the eyes of a friend and not cry when you know that they’re dying?
How do you feel ’bout yourself when you know that sometimes you had wished they were gone?
Not because you didn’t love ’em but just because you felt too weak to be strong