iwrestledabearonce – Late for Nothing

I Wouldn’t Buy That, Even for a Dollar

Heavy music has taken an unfortunate turn for the cringe-worthy in terms of popular records this year, and I can’t believe they’re not a parody metalcore ensemble iwrestledabearonce has taken the cake with their third full length album Late for Nothing. This is their first release with new vocalist Courtney LaPlante, a very strong singer who has a slightly less grating scream than her predecessor Krysta Cameron, but still doesn’t do much to improve the overall sound of the band. Late for Nothing is no deviation from iwrestledabearonce’s signature sound, right down to the completely unnecessary and ridiculous instruments that end up sounding like the producer’s kids snuck in the editing booth one night and added their own personal flair.

Another staple of the band’s sound that was not abandoned in their new iteration is their use of inane, try-too-hard joke song titles– a tactic that should be left to middle school pop punk bands and Weird Al. To their credit, iwrestledabearonce does try to employ a few different musical styles throughout Late for Nothing, and always a wide array of novelty instruments. Songs like “Mind the Gap,” likely the most tolerable track on the album, have a more ballad-like feel to them and showcase Courtney’s engaging and powerful singing voice. The first single from the record, “Carnage Asada” sounds mainly indistinguishable from their frantic and abrasive previous singles. Late for Nothing closes with “It Don’t Make Me No Nevermind,” which is almost reminiscent of some black metal at times– if it weren’t for all the screamo.

If there was ever the perfect argument for the elimination of metalcore as an acceptable subgenre of music, Late for Nothing may be it and even fans of the genre as a whole may want to steer away. The only group of people this album could be recommended to in good faith would be prior fans of iwrestledabearonce’s music because they are certainly doing nothing new here. And Courtney, if you’re reading this: please find a different band to showcase your talent…please.