Not Quite Cult

It may be 2013, but there are definitely some of you who are still combing through www.scenekids.com trying to relive the golden days of Myspace circa 2006. Luckily for you, Hot Topic and eyeliner-fueled screamo band letlive. has released The Blackest Beautiful, an unlistenable soundtrack for your travels through alterna-trends past. With its manufactured heaviness, grating vocals, and cliche’d “creepy” album cover, this album almost comes across as a parody of itself, and not even a good one at that.

On top of its already uncomfortably cheesy mall-metal sound, The Blackest Beautiful sloppily tries to blend in other genres and musical styles with a dash of super-cool trendy radical politics to make them stand out. The perfect example of this cringe-worthy mashup is the rap intro to “White America’s Beautiful Black Market,” a crossover that is almost impossible to successfully pull off and, of course, the auto-tune that pops up in tracks like “Dreamer’s Disease.” The record also has a Christian edge, as seen in the album closer “27 Club,” so listeners can expect to hear some screaming about St. Peter and heaven.

Don’t let the post-hardcore label fool you, letlive. is iwrestledabearonce-level embarrassing metalcore, and anyone looking for anything other than that should steer far, far away. The only thing working in this band’s favor is their energy, which indicates that they are likely a dynamic and engaging live act but when your studio releases are this bad, a good stage presence can only get you so far. Easily the most laughable “heavy” release of 2013 so far, The Blackest Beautiful may be worth a novelty listen or two, but you’d probably be smart to skip their set at Warped Tour this year.