Dignan Porch – Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen

But Nothing Especially Good, Either

They say that too much of a good thing is bad. Well, how about too much of an average thing? South London’s Dignan Porch provide the answer: their tiring, uninspiring sophomore album, Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen.

After thirteen tracks, Dignan Porch fail to draw audiences back in for a second listen. Their minimalist and dreamy shoegaze pop offers no original themes, sounds or effects. Lazy vocals float under overbearing guitars and incessantly repetitive drums. Perhaps the lyrics are insightful, provocative, and rhetorically masterful—but no one would know. Lyric analysis is near impossible because the words are so difficult to understand. “Sad Shape” is a perfect example; the only intelligible words are, “one, two, three four.” “Darkness” is similarly sloppy. Predictable and tedious, a melody that perfectly matches the boring and simple guitar notes basically loops for four minutes.

One track saves the record, however. “Cancelled TV Shows” is the faster, grittier and more exciting version of the sleepy “TV Shows.” By including the two contrasted tracks, Dignan Porch show the potential for versatility—but why only one example of variety on a lengthy album?

Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen’s overarching premise of high school nostalgia, already a common concept, is presented without any fresh interpretation. In “Sleep With The Dead,” singer Joe Walsh laments, “I guess I’ll spend the night inside with you guys.” A message this simple wouldn’t be so exasperating if the boredom was presented in an exciting way. If musicians are bored, the listeners are sure to follow suit. Hopefully, DP recognize the success of accessible, edgy songs and crank up the overdrive on their next project.