Hey, Someone Put on Some Bon Jovi!

Picture a group of frat boys raised on good ol’ fashioned Ameican Oi Oi punk and Bruce Springsteen who decide to start a band so they can play at their own parties. They would produce music like that of Architects – loud, somewhat catchy and devoid of all punk characteristics while retaining its façade.Revenge is an album made up of the same song thirteen times, all of which sound like Bon Jovi trying to cover Motorhead. The guitar tone is cliché and uninteresting, the drumming is boring and the bassist simply copies the guitar. Certain songs have hints of Pennywise’s song structure but without the speed and perfection with which that band can play. Vocalist Brandon Phillips has a voice like no one else, but not in a good way. His singing voice is one prolonged, gurgling half-scream that is simply uncomfortable to listen to. Recording Revenge in only four days probably didn’t help his blown out throat sound any better.

ame The Bon Jovi metaphor is really quite applicable to Architects because both bands achieve the fist-in-the-air pop rock structure coupled with lyrical drivel. Rumor has it that Phillips would write his lyrics minutes before actually having to record them as a means of shedding his former anxiety about his writing. This technique produced such wonders as “Don’t Call it a Ghetto” in which Phillips states, “If dreams were like bombs I’d be Hezbollah, and no I’m not afraid of the metaphor,” or in “Reciprocity” where he snarls “Give blood, make love, it’s not a question.”

ame Revenge is a little ridiculous but if you want some loud tracks to grace the scene of your next New Jersey kegger, then this one’s for you. Or you could just play Bon Jovi because at least some girl will dance with you to “livin’ on a prayer.”