The Unicorns – Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone

Just Horses

When one hears the word “unicorn,” the legend of the beast may come to mind, tamable only by the purest of virgins, and where, with the touch of its magical horn, any spoiled well is made clean. If the well is rock and roll and the horn is the music of the Unicorns, this analogy doesn’t work. Somewhere between the fabled, old heavy-hitting world of Cream and the newly discovered land of Modest Mouse, resides this strange creature. But it’s not what one may imagine from such references. The band seems to be comprised of teenage cartoon super-sleuths, complete with their own theme song, which proudly declares “We’re the Unicorns/ We’re more than horses.” Unfortunately, they don’t sound like it, and seem to enjoy chafing at the bit with annoyingly screechy guitars and the most rudimentary of electronic beats.

This band seems to be skulking around the edge of untapped Indie greatness. They use interesting effects and try to blend the simple Casio demo tempos with their crunchy melodies, but any part of this album that could be enjoyable is methodically killed by off-key vocals, nerve-grating instrumental squeals, and un-synched percussion, thus keeping this animal in extinction. It’s unfortunate, because the imaginative Unicorns have the potential to be a band to watch, but instead seem to have missed the boat, such as their name [and correlating Noah’s Arc legend] might suggest.