Just when it seems clear to America and the world that it perhaps may not be the greatest idea to elect celebrities as government officials, Kid Rock unofficially announced his run for senate. Last week Grand Rapids fans who bought tickets for his show in Michigan got more than they bargained for when the Detroit Cowboy took the opportunity to make his first campaign speech, notably in front of a large banner that read “Kid Rock ’18 for Senate.” Over the course of three and a half minutes, the aspiring Michigan state senator turned what he probably thought was an inspirational speech, into a full on rant.
“It seems the government wants to give everyone health insurance, but wants us all to pay. And to be very frank, I really don’t have a problem with that, since God has blessed me and made my pockets fat,” said Kid Rock. “But a redistribution of wealth seems more like their plan, and I don’t believe that you should say, ‘Sacrifice, do things by the book, and then have to take care of some deadbeat milking the system, lazy ass motherfucking man.’”
In front of Kid Rock was a speech podium with a banner that read “United States of America,” and red white and blue stage lights beamed his way.
“Now the issue of struggling single parents is an issue close to my heart,” he continued. “But read my lips, we should not support these women who can’t even take care of themselves, but keep having kid after fucking kid! Of course we should help them out. I don’t want to sit here and sound like a jerk. But let’s help them out with child care, job training, and put their goddamn asses to work.
Not knowing exactly where the bewildering “speech” was going to turn next, Kid Rock took a stab at the controversy regarding athletes taking a knee during the Star Spangled Banner.
“And if you want to take a knee or sit during our Star-Spangled Banner, call me a racist because I’m not [politically correct] and think you have to remind me that black lives matter.
Nazis, fucking bigots, and now again the KKK – I say screw all you assholes! Stay the fuck away!”
After acknowledging that the country is seemingly divided, he solicited the big man upstairs for some guidance.
“So please almighty Jesus, if you’re looking down tonight, please guide us with your wisdom and give us strength to fight. To fight the tyrant evils that lurk here and abroad, and remind us all that we are still just one nation under God.”
After Kid Rock pointed out the obvious results of the 2016 election, he teased the idea of him running for president. While the whole situation seems mildly unbelievable, it sure blends in with the current political climate and parallels the public’s feelings when Donald Trump announced his candidacy for president– and we all know how that turned out. Click below to watch the situation unfold for yourself.
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